What do you do once you’ve started to panic How do you calm yourself down

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Don’t Panic! 5 Things To Do When You’ve Messed Up

Writer, baker, co-host of “Good Evening Podcast” and “North By Nerdwest”. Read full profile

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Mistakes. We’ve all certainly made a few in our time, and the idea of committing them is never a pleasant concept. The point is that we often screw up — sometimes badly. Maybe you said the wrong thing in the heat of the moment, or did something you never would have if not for your emotional state. We’ve all been there, and it’s agonizing. The key, really, is figuring out what to do after the deed.

It’s not the end of the world if you’ve behaved badly, but you will you be treated and judged by how you handle the aftermath. If you’ve messed up at work or dropped a bit of a misfire in the home realm, then check out this quick-fire guide to five of the best things to do when you’ve screwed up.

1. Apologize immediately.

Saying “sorry” really is the best policy when it comes to committing a screw-up of any magnitude. Staying indifferent is insulting and implies that you don’t even care, which comes across as deeply rude. Therefore, you should apologize immediately to the parties concerned.

You might have to eat a bit of humble pie at one point or another, but that’s the price that comes with being less than perfect. Choosing to select the more honorable route and apologize for your mistakes might be more awkward than burying your head in the sand and walking away, but it will also earn you respect, friends, forgiveness, and self-esteem. So when you’ve screwed up, apologize sincerely, and get right back to work.

2. Get some perspective and a reality check.

One of the most important things to do when you’ve screwed up is to take a step back and gain some perspective and/or a reality check on the situation. Hopefully, the situation you’ve just instigated isn’t too serious (i.e. something that will result in a stint in criminal court or your family never speaking to you again), and if so, it helps to try to logically and objectively evaluate what you’ve done.

If your screw-up is fixable, that’s something to be grateful for. And while it might have an effect on the people you care about or work with or spend time with, you can probably resolve this problem. Chances are you haven’t killed anyone, ruined anyone’s life, or caused anyone major distress. As the great philosopher Cicero said, “Dum spiro spero” which means, “While I breathe, I hope.”

3. Make sure it doesn’t happen again by crafting a plan.

It’s okay to make mistakes; everyone screws up once in a while (yes, even that picture-perfect, sweet-as-pie girl in the office or that immaculately put-together guy down the street). The point is that screwing up is inevitable, but it’s what we do to make sure it doesn’t happen again that really matters in the long term. Basically? Make a plan.

Decide exactly what you did wrong, and really think about what you can do in the future to help prevent that from happening again. Learn something, remember something, put something into place — make a concerted effort. After you’ve sorted your plan out, go to the person who you offended or affected with your screw-up, tell them what you’re going to do to prevent it from ever happening again, and then let the chips fall where they may. It’s human to make mistakes, but what makes you a great person is how you recover from them and ensure that you never hurt the same person like that again.

4. Take a break.

One of the best things to do is to get yourself out of the environment in which the mistake occurred, to stop your mind from dwelling on the situation. Staying in that immediate environment and muling over the mistake you made is only going to cause you to lose your focus, drop your ability to work and live in that situation, and end up in a shame spiral.

Go and take a breather; get yourself out of that office, or home, or wherever, and take a walk somewhere. Get yourself out of that negative headspace that will continue to haunt your mind and affect your ability to be a normal, functioning human being. Take a solid 15 minutes to gather your energy and strengths, and make your plan.

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5. Be kind to yourself.

Finally, practice a bit of self-compassion following a moment of guilt and sadness over a mistake. In a world where we’re expected to be flawless human beings with physical perfection and ideal lives, the idea of screwing up seems almost horrific. It isn’t. You’re human. It’s okay to mess up.

Don’t go beating yourself up, and and don’t dwell on your mistake to the point of it having a detrimental effect on your mental health or your ability to be yourself around friends, coworkers, and loved ones. They’re human too, and the vast majority of people will readily help you recover and allow you to sincerely apologize. Take a deep breath, try to calm yourself down, and remember that it isn’t the end of the world. You can always start again, and when your head hits the pillow, just remember Scarlett O’Hara’s classic, life-affirming adage, “After all… tomorrow’s another day!”

How do you calm yourself down when you’re incredibly angry?

How do you calm yourself down when you’re incredibly angry?

I wrote a hub about it, “Starve Fury,” but I’d like to hear your suggestions on the matter.

Count backward from 100 to one, if that doesn’t work, drive to a remote location and scream out all the things the bother you.
Hope this helps,
Bloominglily

I usually just stop what I’m doing. Close my eyes. And take 5 deep breaths while saying “calm down”. Works for me at least!

I feel you think about how good your life is and how bad it can go if you react on that anger.

Well being angry can make things worse than they already are in most cases. Try and keep a clear conscience or things could get worse cause of anger.

Run as fast as I can or take a cold, cold shower or if I’m not too angry just breathe deeply for a moment and tell myself that this is not where I want to put my energy in.

I always try to remember that I’m in control of my own thoughts and actions. Sometimes when I find it difficult to control my anger, I just start talking. When you actually listen to yourself out loud hopefully you’ll be able to hear yourself and understand how ridiculous you sound. Also, admit to your own mistakes.

We need to understand that when we are angry that means we are not in control over our emotions or our actions, but something/one outside is controlling us. I just decide that I am my own mistress and i will not let this trouble me. I choose to respond (act with reason) than react (act emotionaly)
It is a question of choice. I then focus mind my mind on calming things (for example visualize/ create mental imagery of a calm place with attention to detail) and hang around there until i am in charge and make some self affirmation about my rational being.
Responding is better than reacting!!

There are several techniques that can calm you when you are angry and it depends on the person and you may go through a couple techniques to find your niche. Counting, slow breathing, closing your eyes and thinking of something pleasant, walking away. I do not recommend anything that continues the anger such as punching a wall or something that intensifies the anger.

Sofs is the answer I prefer here. If anger is so intense that you feel you might react physically – head outside and start walking. Let off steam. But note the mind chatter. All the self-talk about why you’re angry will only add fuel to the flames.

Once you’ve calmed down a bit you can then examine why you were angry. After all, you felt the emotion that you felt, not the other person. It’s your problem. They probably only triggered it. They perhaps ‘bruised your ego,’ or ‘insulted your self-image.’

This self-image which flies into a temper, or gets hurt in an emotional way is not the real you. It is the made up you- made up by your identification with your thoughts and the feelings which accompany them. Once you truly understand this, you’re on your way to getting rid of them.

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How to Avoid Building Up Bodily Tension and Consistently Feel Relaxed

You’ll Never Win the Comparison Game. Do This Instead.

“The stiffest tree is readiest for the ax.” -Bruce Lee

A few years ago, I was working as a telemarketer. I’d make around 250 calls a day to angry, volatile strangers who would consistently yell at me, cuss me out, and berate me for bothering them.

I was drinking 6–8 cups of coffee every workday (then slugging 2–3 drinks after work to calm down). I would wake up sweating in a panic in the middle of night. Every day at work felt like I was walking around with a gigantic black, nasty cannonball of stress in my gut.

I’d see my therapist, and he’d ask me how work was going. I’d say how hard it was to keep it all together. He would sometimes interrupt me and ask why my shoulders suddenly tensed, or why my hands were suddenly balled into fists. I’d look down in surprise and tell him I hadn’t even noticed.

Here’s an interesting fact about nature: if a gazelle successfully escapes from a hungry cheetah, it doesn’t just trot back to its normal life and pick up right where it left off. No, the gazelle will spend up to an hour after the chase in a trance-like state, swaying back and forth, eyes rolling, mouth open, their body releasing the explosion of sheer adrenaline from running for their lives.

After that, the gazelle is fine. They rejoin the herd as if nothing happened.

Humans respond very differently after incredibly stressful situations. What do you after a stern lecture from your boss about your mediocre performance? Or after a near car crash? What do you do after a public humiliation or an intimidating confrontation?

Most people just go back to what they were doing without releasing any of the tension. All that jaw-clenching fear, white-knuckle adrenaline, energy, and anxiety isn’t released; it stays in the body, and is always expressed in constant bodily tension.

Sadly, this is how many people live their lives. They experience constant extreme stress, but they hardly notice it. They rarely release it in productive ways (bingeing on TV and alcohol don’t count). They walk around with the world on their shoulders, pretending everything is fine.

I still find myself stressed out and anxious, sometimes incredibly so. I still walk around with tense shoulders and a flexed stomach without realizing it.

But through intensive therapy, I’ve learned how to calm down, and stay calm. I can relax more easily and fully. Difficult conversations with intimidating people don’t leave me a frayed bundle of nerves (usually). I know how to release extreme stress and go back to my day — something I could never do before.

Here’s how to avoid building up bodily stress and consistently relax more.

How to Avoid the #1 Body Stressor

“The main way you generate bodily tension is by turning attention back on yourself in self-concern, curling yourself up so tightly that you feel all knotted up.” -David Deida

A preoccupation with the self is a guarantee to create bodily stress and anxiety.

I’m not talking about healthy self-care or introspective reflections on your life; I mean obsessive worrying and endless thinking on the problems in your life.

This bodily stressor is often caused by:

  • Obsessing about your competition (instead of your own progress)
  • Focusing on avoiding worst-case scenarios (instead of seeking best-case ones)
  • Making decisions based on fear (instead of on opportunity)
  • Constant self-loathing (instead of self-love)
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